How to Ask Your Friends to be a Part of Your Wedding Party
Inviting your friends to be part of your wedding party should be as exciting as selecting your dream destination wedding spot. However, we understand that popping the question can sometimes feel nerve-wracking. Don’t stress, though. With some creativity and a lot of heart, you can turn it into a really special moment for all of you.
Choosing your best man, maid of honor, groomsmen, and bridesmaids feels like a big deal because these are ultimately the folks who will stand by your side through every dress fitting, cake tasting, and happy tear leading up to “I do.” And if you’ve opted for a destination wedding, where guests’ expenses are higher, finding the perfect way to ask becomes even more important!
And, you might be wondering, “Do I even need a bridal party?” It’s 2024, and with new trends and changing traditions, some couples are simply saying “no thanks” to a bridal party altogether. But, if the thought of having your friends and family celebrate with you makes your heart skip a beat, then let’s make it happen in style!
Pick Your Squad
First up, make a list of the VIPs you want to invite to your wedding party. These are the people who make your world go round, and there really is no right answer to who you choose. It is all up to you and who you want there for you throughout it all.
Since they’re so special, you’ll want to give them plenty of notice too (at least 8-12 months ahead of time). They’ll appreciate the heads up, especially if they’ll be traveling far to join in on the fun.
Get Real and Ask them Directly
When it comes to asking your best friends to join your bridal squad, skip the theatrics and keep it real. This isn’t a fancy initiation ceremony, it’s you inviting them to be part of your special day, so make it authentically you!
Reach out to them in a way that feels natural to you. Whether it’s a heartfelt conversation over coffee or a movie night, be genuine and honest. Ask them straight up: “Hey, would you do me the honor of being my maid of honor?” or “Hey, I can’t imagine my big day without you by my side as my groomsman. Will you be there with me?”
Remember, this is about connecting with your loved ones and sharing the special moment together. So don’t stress about grand gestures or over-the-top proposals — your friends will appreciate your sincerity and the chance to be part of your wedding party.
But, if you’re feeling a little extra, here are a few creative ideas to add a little more fun to your ask:
A One-On-One Dinner Proposal
Who doesn’t love a delicious dinner at a fancy restaurant or a local eatery? Why not invite your loved ones to a dinner with just the two of you (on you), and ask them formally to be there for you as part of your wedding party, on your special day?
Choose your favorite local restaurant, or go out for dessert – make it a true proposal by treating your friend to a nice night out.
What About a Fun Gathering?
If you have more of a friend-crew where everyone likes to get together, then why not plan a gathering with all your loved ones and ask them all at the same time?
You can create individual invitations, and or gift bags, and invite everyone on an outing of your choice. You can rent a cottage for a night, or keep it simple and invite everyone to dinner or a night out in the city. Pop the question, then pop a bottle! Your wedding will be a grand celebration, so why not make your invitations a party too?
Or Consider a Planned Activity
Is there a shared activity you like to do with your friends? Dig deep into your past or get creative with something you’ve always wanted to do but have never done before, and plan an activity with you and your friend. This way, you can ask them one-on-one while experiencing a new unforgettable memory! Think ax throwing, rock climbing, an art class or a show — there are so many fun options out there.
What About My Long-Distance Family and Friends?
Okay, let’s face it — it’s 2024 and a lot of your loved ones are always on the move! Many of them are miles away in another state, country or continent. Sometimes getting your loved ones that are miles away involved in your destination wedding takes a little extra creativity. So, if you can’t round them up for a cozy dinner or a fun get-together, what’s the game plan?
Well, keep it simple! How about setting up a video chat or a FaceTime call with your far-away loved one? Tell them to grab their favorite bottle of wine (on you, of course!) and let’s have a virtual hangout! Play some games, share stories, sip your drinks together, and when the moment feels just right — pop the big question! Trust us, you won’t even notice the screen when you’re asking your bestie to stand by your side on your big day.
If that doesn’t sound like your thing, then how about sending them a tasty treat? Whether it’s pizza, an edible flower arrangement, or a box of their all-time favorite desserts, why not surprise them with a delicious treat along with a heartfelt message? Most places are happy to add a special note to the package, include a personalized card, or even write a message on a cake! If you can’t be there in person, a sweet treat is sure to seal the deal!
Once you’ve extended your invitation in a meaningful way, give your friends time to process and decide if they’re able to accept.
Now that They’ve Accepted, Let’s Get Creative!
Your friends said “yes” to being part of your wedding party — cue the confetti! Now that they’ve accepted, it’s time to sprinkle some extra magic onto the moment.
Here are some fun ideas to thank your squad and kick off the celebration:
Personalized Proposal Boxes
Create a personalized proposal box for each friend, filled with goodies that reflect your friendship and the excitement of your upcoming wedding. Add items like scented candles, books, or even handwritten notes that express your gratitude and love. For very special friends, consider creating a scrapbook or a memory page of your friendship!
Engraved or Customized Goodies
Go on Etsy, or find a local shop, and send your loved ones some customized goodies as a token of appreciation that they can hold onto forever. Engrave their initials on champagne glasses, personalize jewelry with their name on it, or create custom swag for your wedding party.
Pro-Tip: When crafting customized goods, it’s important to think of shopping locally and ethically. Many “bridesmaids t-shirts” end up discarded after a few years, adding to fast fashion’s environmental impact. Instead, consider getting creative and customizing items with lasting value. Think about gifts for the home, unique pieces of art, or personalized glassware that can be cherished beyond the wedding festivities.
Send Along a Piece of Your Destination Location
Inspire your crew to join you on your stunning destination location by sending them a piece of the culture! A mini care package filled with goodies from your wedding location would definitely spark some excitement — think local delicacies, postcards, art, or even a bottle of wine. We’ve got you covered with a few ideas:
Destination-Inspired Gift Boxes: Set up a destination-inspired gift box filled with local treasures, artisanal treats, or cultural keepsakes that really showcase how incredible your destination wedding will be! You can even include unique pieces of art or souvenirs (think: a beautiful print, small sculpture, a handcrafted piece of pottery). These treasures will serve as lasting reminders of the special moment you popped the question to your wedding party.
Customized Passport Holder: We love the idea of a cute and custom passport holder that they can bring along to the destination. If you’re into sending personalized gifts, then why not add details and stamps and customize a passport holder to make your wedding party feel like they’re really embarking on a fun adventure with you!
Destination-Inspired Food and Drink Inspo: Consider hosting a tasting party with your friends where you sample regional cocktails, or send your friends a selection of spices, snacks or beverages to enjoy at home! It makes for a delicious way to share the excitement to get everyone in the mood for some culinary adventures.
Now, Let’s Party!
Great, now that we know how to put together the dream team for your wedding crew, it's time to get the festivities rolling and start celebrating. Crafting those invites isn’t just about asking, it’s about adding personalized moments of laughter and memories to share with your closest friends and family.
From cozy dinners to group hangouts or offbeat adventures — however you choose to do it, you’ll know it’ll be uniquely you. And once your crew is in, it’s time to ramp up the excitement. So pop that bottle, spread the love, and let the countdown to your epic wedding bash begin!
Courtnie is the founder & CEO of TravelBash. After years as an ambitious fundraiser, she took her passion for travel full-time. She has lived all over the U.S. and abroad and after planning her own destination wedding, she decided to help other couples plan their big day abroad too. She has written “Passport to Paradise: The Complete Destination Wedding Guide,” a top seller on Amazon. She has also been featured in Travel + Leisure, Destination I Do and The Washington Post. As a certified travel advisor, expert event planner and natural connector, she uses her powers to create VIP travel experiences.
