You’re Engaged. Now What?
Congratulations!! He did it, or you did it, or she did it— it doesn’t matter because all I know is YOU are engaged! Whether it was a total shocker, a meticulously planned moment, or a mutual decision, you’re now officially on the road to saying “I do”. But hey, between all the champagne poppin’ and ring selfies, you might be thinking, “What now?”
Don’t worry, I’ve got your back: here’s an essential checklist of the first 12 things you gotta do after you get engaged.
1. Timing is Everything: Plan Ahead
So, you’ve got that sparkly rock on your finger, but before you get lost in Pinterest boards and wedding magazines, take a deep breath and think ahead. According to the Knot Real Weddings Study, the average engagement lasts about 15 months. That may seem like forever, but trust me, time flies fast, and you’re going to want to use it wisely.
Sure, you’re itching to start planning the big day, but first, let’s lay some groundwork. Consider your golden opportunity to brainstorm, dream big and set the stage. From choosing the right atmosphere, timeline, destination, and venue, these early decisions will shape your entire wedding journey.
So, before you get lost in a sea of inspiration, let’s get organized and make a game plan.
2. Talk About the Budget
Let’s talk dollars and cents, shall we? It might not be the most glamorous topic, but trust me, a little financial foresight now means fewer headaches down the road. So, cozy up with your partner and set out a budget that works for both of you.
Sure, it’s not as exciting as picking out your dress or tasting cake flavors, but getting a handle on your finances early on gives you the freedom to splurge where it counts. Who knows? You might uncover clever ways to stretch your wedding dollars further, allowing you to go all out on the things that truly matter to you — whether it’s your gown, your venue, or your honeymoon.
3. Find Your Destination Wedding Expert
Now, I’m all for a little DIY action, but planning a wedding — especially a destination one — is like trying to fold a fitted sheet, tricky business. That’s where the pros come in: consider hiring a wedding planning consultant.
I will say it again; a wedding planner and/or travel agent is going to help you prepare for this event in ways you may not even think of. Remember, this is your wedding, leave it to the pros. Do you try to change your own oil? Do you diagnose yourself rather than going to the doctor? There are several options but you do not want the stress nor the headache. And remember, you will be dealing with guests who you know will drive you nuts, so anything you can do to alleviate stress is a good thing!
4. Start Thinking About Your Guest List
Ah, the guest list — the ultimate balance between inviting everyone and their grandmother and keeping your wedding from being too big. Picture trying to fit 300 people into a cozy riad in Morocco, or having only 50 guests into a ballroom at the Ritz. It’s a real-life puzzle, I tell you.
Now, let’s be realistic and talk numbers for a second. More guests mean more mouths to feed, and if you’re considering alcohol, that’s another expense to factor in. Trust me, I’ve been there. Your family will insist on inviting every long-lost cousin and friend-of-a-friend, and before you know it, Uncle John, Aunt Paul, and their entire clan will be on the list.
But don’t stress, there are many ways that friends and family can celebrate with you, even if they can’t physically attend. So, take a good hard look at your guest list, trim it down if needed, and remember: it’s your day, your budget, and your celebration!
5. Think About a Pre-Wedding Party: The Engagement Bash
Why wait for the wedding to start celebrating? Throw an engagement bash to kick off the party! Whether it’s a backyard barbecue or a rooftop soirée, now’s the time to let loose and soak up all the love and excitement with your nearest and dearest.
Pro-Top: It’s never too early to sign up for gifts (start registering ASAP), but if you are thinking destination is the way to go, these registries will be better than accumulating more stuff.
Note: Do not include registry info in your engagement party invites or any formal manner. Stick to word of mouth or your wedding website.
6. Insure that Engagement Ring
Listen, whether you think you’ll lose it in a freak accident or keep it safe forever, insuring that bling is just good sense. Some of those rings could buy you a whole other wedding, so protecting it is worth every penny.
Here’s the deal: you can add it to your renters or homeowners insurance policy, and if the worst happens and you misplace it or it gets stolen, you’re recovered for a set amount. And let’s face it, accidents do happen, so don’t skip this step. Most jewelry stores offer insurance options too, so don’t hesitate to ask about adding that extra layer of protection.
7. Assemble Your Bridal Party
Alright, it’s time to pop the question to your ride-or-die crew! You want them by your side for the big day, but before you send out those cute proposal boxes, consider this: the sooner, the better. Especially if you’re planning a destination wedding, your squad needs all the heads-up they can get.
This is no small commitment they’re making, folks. They’re signing up to spend their hard-earned cash and precious vacation days celebrating your love, so show them your love by giving them plenty of notice. Whether it’s a heartfelt letter, a personalized gift, or a face-to-face chat over coffee, make sure they know just how much their support means to you.
8. Choose the Perfect Destination
Ah, the old-age question: where in the world will you say “I do”? Have you considered a beautiful beach in Hawaii? Martha’s Vineyard in May? The Rocky Mountains near Denver in September?
Where do you picture your dream wedding? What do you see? Who’s there? Are you wearing Jimmy Choos or Converse, or maybe barefoot on the beach, or cowboy boots? What is your style? Nautical, vintage, glam, modern, super fancy like a black-tie event, or a casual BBQ in a garden or park?
It’s all about finding the perfect setting for you! Consider factors like cost, weather, and accessibility as you get started. Grab some magazines and dive deep into Pinterest for inspiration.
9. Book and Set the Date
The first thing everybody is going to want to know is: when is the wedding day going to be? And what about all the in-between events? You will have to sit down and do some serious planning with your wedding expert to be able to set the date.
Your venue/resort is also the centerpiece of the day, weekend and sometimes week. Visit the site, double-check your budget and work on the smaller details after all this has been handled. Booking early is the best way to go. Plus, when you book you have officially set the wedding date and you know it is yours!
10. Look At The Rest of Your Team: Choose Vendors
Now it’s time to assemble your dream team of wedding vendors. Do you need a photographer? A DJ? Are you flying them over, or will they be locals? These are all the other items that need to be ironed out. Figure out what the most important vendors are and get them booked right away.
11. The Dress
Time for the fun part — shopping for your wedding dress! Start exploring your favorite styles early, and go shopping. Think about what suits your vibe and location. If you’re planning a summer ceremony, go for light and airy fabrics like chiffon or linen. For a winter wonderland wedding, snuggle up in faux fur or velvet. And remember, whether it’s satin, silk, or tulle, there’s a perfect fabric for everyone out there!
Make wedding dress shopping the best day ever by inviting your besties along. Sip champagne, try on gorgeous gowns, and go out for a delicious dinner afterward. Have fun every step of the way.
12. Have Fun, Enjoy Yourself and Party it Up!
This step shouldn’t have to be a reminder, but with so many moving parts it’s easy to get caught in the windstorm and stress out as you plan your wedding. This is a moment to RELAX and PARTY! Enjoy yourself and make the best out of the journey. No seriously — make it everything you’ve ever wanted and go stress-free.
And hey, if you team up with seasoned pros like TravelBash, you can sit back, relax and let us handle the heavy lifting. Whether you’re planning a beach bash or a mountain bash, this journey is all about FUN!
Once you’ve tackled those first steps, it’s time to start the countdown! 🎉 Sure, there’s still plenty to do, but it’s all part of the adventure. Start locking in those bookings, sending out those invites, and planning epic activities for your guests. Get ready to eat, drink and celebrate that engagement 🥂!
Editor Notes: This post was originally published on December 29, 2017, and has been completely revamped and updated for accuracy and comprehensiveness or relevancy.
Courtnie is the founder & CEO of TravelBash. After years as an ambitious fundraiser, she took her passion for travel full-time. She has lived all over the U.S. and abroad and after planning her own destination wedding, she decided to help other couples plan their big day abroad too. She has written “Passport to Paradise: The Complete Destination Wedding Guide,” a top seller on Amazon. She has also been featured in Travel + Leisure, Destination I Do and The Washington Post. As a certified travel advisor, expert event planner and natural connector, she uses her powers to create VIP travel experiences.
