How To Be A Good Destination Wedding Guest - Part II
So we added Part II to our “Good behavior” list after several brides emailed us with their complaints. Think of this as your get-out-of-jail FREE card. You will thank us later. Oh and enjoy the wedding and try not to get into too much trouble. ( We are talking to you groomsmen!!!)
Let them know you are coming early - RSVP with a deposit is important!
Just like an “at home” celebration, destination wedding etiquette calls for guests to RSVP early, as soon as they know if they can attend. This helps the wedding couples budget for how many guests plan to attend as well as make sure everyone is included in the headcount for all the wedding-related events on and off the resort.
Please don’t do your own thing!!!!!
If you receive an invite for a destination wedding, chances are there are instructions for booking with a specific travel/destination wedding company already chosen. We understand you want to use your points and/or go through your friend or even Expedia but please save that for another time. They won’t tell you it but it is stressful when you go and do what you want. This saves the couple a lot of stress and headache and sometimes even saves them money because they have to pay for guests not booking in their group or staying at another hotel. The couple chose their travel advisor and/or wedding company for a reason, please use them.
Do you want to know why?
Your couple has signed a group contract with financial implications for guests who book outside the group. Since most people don’t have experience with group hotel/resort contracts – especially in a foreign country – here’s why this is important:
Your wedding couple has an existing relationship with their travel advisor and the resort. Before they have sent you one piece of mail including Save the Dates, there has already been some pre-planning with the advisor and resort. The couple has also more than likely put in a lot of time, a hefty deposit and tons of energy into thi process. After the destination is selected, the travel advisor negotiates a group contract with awesome rates, a bunch of amenities for your group and most importantly – “credits” for the wedding couple. These credits are used by the couple for the week’s events and activities. What you don’t know is when you go and book on your own, the wedding couple loses those perks and sometimes ends up paying more.
Tip: Most travel advisors are willing to work with you if you find a cheaper rate that is apples to apples what their rate is for all the other wedding guests. You usually just need to screenshot the rate, share where you found it and most times it is honored by the resort.
Booking on your own penalizes the couples and the bride and groom end up paying a fee to attend wedding activities. They can be anywhere from $100-$200 per person per event. Rooms sold on 3rd party booking sites are usually leftover rooms that no one wants which is why you get the deal. Remember everything that looks good, isn’t good lol! Lastly, if the resort becomes oversold the guests who book using these 3rd party sites are the first ones to get moved meaning you go to a sister property sometimes even lesser value than the one you paid for. YIKES!!!!!
Communicate with the couple and their wedding team (and buy travel insurance!)
We understand you booked this trip in May of last year and now it’s October and shit has changed…. You are now living in another city, baby on the way, or maybe you have lost your job, going through a divorce we get in and nowadays, you might be kept in due to COVID-19. We understand life happens and you might not be able to attend but let the couple know ASAP and even better share with the team working with the couple so they are able to move forward accordingly as well as so you and them don’t get stuck with any penalty, cancellation and other resort service fees. That is why we highly recommend TRAVEL INSURANCE, especially in this day and age.
No gifts….no, like really!
Let me back up so the couple doesn’t kill me. I mean yay gifts but no to bringing them with you on the trip. How do they plan to bring all these items back? It’s just one more thing they will have to lug home and with baggage fees, new rules that change constantly this is just something they don’t need to think about. Leave those gifts at home or ship them directly to their home.
With all that said, you are probably wondering, what else am I missing, check out Destination Wedding Guests Etiquette Part I.
Courtnie is the founder & CEO of TravelBash. After years as an ambitious fundraiser, she took her passion for travel full-time. She has lived all over the U.S. and abroad and after planning her own destination wedding, she decided to help other couples plan their big day abroad too. She has written “Passport to Paradise: The Complete Destination Wedding Guide,” a top seller on Amazon. She has also been featured in Travel + Leisure, Destination I Do and The Washington Post. As a certified travel advisor, expert event planner and natural connector, she uses her powers to create VIP travel experiences.
